“I thought everyone’s parents did that”: 18 small things that made kids realize they grew up loved

Redditors Who Had Healthy Childhoods Share the Little Things Their Families Did to Nurture Emotional Well-Being

While stories of dysfunctional households, emotionally immature parents, and even abuse are sadly all too common, there are many Redditors who grew up in emotionally healthy families—and they’re sharing the small but meaningful actions that helped that health to flourish.

For these individuals, receiving daily encouragement and unconditional support was so normal that they only realized as adults just how special it truly was.

An AskReddit thread started by u/ViolatingBadgers asked: *“Redditors who grew up in emotionally healthy families—what’s something you thought was normal growing up that you now realize was actually very special?”* The responses offer a rare glimpse into the kind of loving environments that many never experience.

### The Importance of Emotional Health in Childhood

Mental health challenges among young people in the U.S. are an increasing concern. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 29 percent of high school-aged kids reported their mental health as “not good” most or all of the time in both 2021 and 2023.

One major key to raising happy, satisfied, and functional children is having emotionally healthy parents who treat their kids well. Unfortunately, without proper guidance on how to model this health, many parents struggle to provide it.

That said, growing up in an unhappy home doesn’t doom anyone to poor mental health. Healing often involves recognizing what you missed out on early in life. If the behaviors listed below don’t resonate with your childhood experience, it might be a sign to consider therapy.

### 1. Dropping Everything for the Kids

“My mom will drop everything if her child is in distress. I can call at 3 a.m., crying and just say I need her—no details—and she’ll drive to my house immediately. She was on a road trip the night my husband left me. I was housesitting her dogs, and when she checked in she could hear in my voice something was wrong. She drove all night and was sleeping on her couch when I woke up.”
— u/ClutterKitty

### 2. Lunch Notes

“My mom used to pack my lunch and put a little note with a compliment or encouragement every single day, all the way through high school. My friends loved hearing them and even made me read the notes out loud at lunch.”
— u/gogogadgetpants_

### 3. Simply Showing Interest

“My parents were always interested in what was going on with us. They listened patiently as we babbled about our days and were actively involved—whether making flashcards for tests, coaching softball, or leading Girl Scouts. We never felt anything but loved, trusted, and safe.”
— u/AtheneSchmidt

### 4. Apologizing? What a Concept

“My mom apologized to me when she was wrong.”
— u/Marillenbaum

### 5. Random Presents

“My mom would give us random gifts we asked for throughout the year—once I woke up on Halloween to find a Polly Pocket I’d wanted forever on my bed. I honestly thought every parent did that.”
— u/grumpyfvck

### 6. Just Being Kind

“Kindness was a super important value in our home. My parents were kind, didn’t fight, had a great sense of humor, and loved music—we always had music playing. My childhood friends loved coming over for my mom’s home-cooked meals too.”
— u/Taketheegg

### 7. Mitigating Harm Instead of Punishing

“Child discipline focused on fixing the harm we caused. For example, if we broke something, we had to pay for it or apologize to anyone we hurt. Natural consequences, like not having a fresh towel if we didn’t finish laundry, were allowed, followed by coaching on how to prevent repeating mistakes.”
— u/Glade_Runner

### 8. Emotional Support

“My parents were emotionally available anytime. I could talk to either of them about almost anything without feeling like a burden or being judged. They just wanted to support me and make sure I knew I was loved.”
— u/BrandNewBurr

### 9. Parents Respecting Each Other

“My parents always treated each other with respect and never complained about the other in front of us kids.”
— u/AmKamikaze

### 10. Dads Respecting Women

“People worried about me growing up because I was the only girl and my rough-around-the-edges dad got custody after my parents divorced. But he treated me incredibly well. In fact, mom married him partly because he already took care of chores like laundry and cleaning, saying since he was the farmer and the ‘dirtiest and most hairy’, it made sense.”
— u/LeatherHog

### 11. A Quiet, Calm Household

“I had friends from chaotic homes who’d come to my house and just relax. Our house had music, movies, and laughter—but also a calmness that I didn’t fully appreciate until I got older.”
— u/yourerightaboutthat

### 12. Quality Time

“We did lots of things together. Dad worked shifts and often had weekdays off, so during summer we went to places like the ROM or Science Centre. Even with his alternating day and night shifts, my dad was super involved alongside my stay-at-home mom.”
— u/glowingmember

### 13. Packing Healthy Food

“I didn’t realize until later how much effort my parents put into our meals. I went to a rougher elementary school and was jealous of kids with candy or lunchables every day, but my parents always packed healthy food, including fruit. Looking back, I realize how special that was.”
— u/BDOID

### 14. Loving Your Friends Too

“My parents always showed up for all our events and got to know our friends, supporting them just as much as us. Once my mom and I surprised a friend at an award ceremony—his own parents didn’t even come. Even now, my best high school friends love my parents, and they ask about my friends too.”
— u/Areolfos

### 15. Eating Dinner Together

“Now that I’m older, I realize many people don’t sit down and eat dinner together. We did that every night, each picking the music for dinner. I always chose the Grease soundtrack!”
— u/vietnams666

### 16. Modeling Healthy Relationships

“I felt confident knowing my parents genuinely liked and loved each other. I regularly witnessed emotional and appropriate physical affection and never worried about taking sides or mediating between them.”
— u/Ambystomatigrinum

### 17. Not Tearing Down Others

“I never heard my parents say negative things about anyone—no mean or nasty comments, ever. I remember my first dinner at my husband’s family’s home—it was so negative that I excused myself to cry in the restroom.”
— u/Pure-Remote9614

### 18. Taking an Active Role in Education

“My parents supported me in school—but not by coddling. If I found the work boring, they communicated with my teacher to get more challenging material. When I was in kindergarten, I calmly told them if I had to count beans one more time, I would scream.”
— u/celoplyr

Despite the chaos of the internet, these stories highlight everyday moments that created emotionally healthy childhoods. If you recognize some of these behaviors in your own upbringing, you’re likely fortunate to have experienced a foundation of love and support.

If not, remember it’s never too late to seek healing and build healthier relationships.

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