Young people today are suffering from many aspects of life. Sadly, I’d like to add one more to the list: unsolicited advice. Before the social media era, we super social humans were more than willing to dole out advice to anyone who asked. But with advice being thrown our way every time we pick up our phone, which young people do on average over a hundred times a day, it’s easy to feel a bit overwhelmed and confused by the many voices telling us how we should live our lives. Of course, there are many schools of thought, so I’m going to distill how to live our very best lives into five important tenets. When we have the right tools, we can navigate life with more confidence and calm. This is where the Five Tenets come in. They form a framework created from years of research in positive psychology, interviews with mental health experts, studies on purpose and social connection, and over 25 years of working with young people and families. They are simple, powerful practices that can help us stay connected to who we are, protect our peace, and build a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside. When we act in ways that don’t match our values, something inside of us feels off. That off-purpose feeling creates stress, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness. Here’s a quick example. Imagine you love having a flexible schedule. Then suddenly, school or work switches you to a strict 9-5. If flexibility is a core value for you, this change will drain your energy fast. The same goes for relationships, friendships, majors, or career paths that don’t match who you are. You can push through for a while, but if you ignore yourself for too long, your mental health suffers. Some people numb that stress with unhealthy coping mechanisms. Others fall into anxiety, burnout, or depression. Not everyone can instantly leave a difficult situation, but you can learn to understand yourself and your needs better and communicate them with clarity. That’s where the Five Tenets help. Tenet #1: Own Your Voice When I work with young people, I always tell them that understanding who you are and what is important to you, and then staying true to yourself by speaking your truth, will create ease in your life. Of course, you have to do it with kindness, because our words shape the world around us as well as the world inside us. This means thinking before we speak or post. It also means that we never know the full story behind someone’s behavior, and curiosity prevents conflict. Remember, kindness builds connection, and our voices are powerful. Use it with intention. Tenet #2: Protect Your Peace The second tenet is Protect Your Peace. Say it with me: boundaries are not selfish. They’re necessary. Protecting your peace means having the courage and self-awareness to use the word no. It also means taking breaks from screens and choosing who and what is deserving of your attention. We live in a world of endless content. Music, news, TikTok, Instagram, podcasts-it never stops. But what you take in affects how you feel. Being intentional about your digital diet boosts your mental health. Your peace is priceless. Guard it like your mental health depends on it. Tenet #3: Show Up With Integrity and Humility Do what you say you’ll do. Showing up on time, responding when you say you will, and keeping your promises are the foundations of healthy relationships. Reliability creates strong friendships, stronger opportunities, and a strong sense of self. Integrity also means understanding your purpose and aligning your choices with who you truly are. Humility means being open to learning, listening, and growing. Together, they create self-respect. Tenet #4: Nurture Real Connection and Community You’ve heard it before, but if nothing about your social situation has changed since the last time you heard it, it’s worth mentioning again: We’re suffering from a loneliness pandemic. 73% of Gen Z-ers reported feeling alone all the time or sometimes, with one in five parents worrying their children don’t have any friends. The single best way to live a life worth living is to build relationships, make friends, and find community. We all need people-real people. Face-to-face connection matters more than likes, comments, or streaks. Building a community gives you social capital, a network of people who support you, guide you, and believe in you. Being somewhere you feel seen, heard, and valued is a major contributor to happiness. Making friends and building a community can be difficult. Putting yourself out there can be scary. Start by finding something you’re passionate about and then find communities where you can surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Tenet #5: Build Resilience Through Growth Everyone goes through hard times. The key to addressing these hard times isn’t by avoiding them; it’s about learning from them. It’s about getting up again, even when it’s tough. You can build resilience by: Trying again after failure Asking for help Learning patience Seeking meaning in challenges Connecting to something bigger than yourself Resilience is a skill, and like all skills, it can either diminish or grow with time. We like to think that some people are born with certain traits while others are doomed to deal with the cards they’re dealt. Humans and the world around us are in a state of constant change. You can either let the world change you or be the master of your destiny. These five tenets give us the tools we need to create positive and lasting change. They are tools that help us understand ourselves, protect our energy, build meaningful relationships, and navigate life’s ups and downs with more confidence. You deserve a life that feels good on the inside. You can build it one tenet at a time.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/becoming-happier/202511/the-five-tenets-to-create-happiness-in-your-life
The Five Tenets to Create Happiness in Your Life
